My Season of Uncertainty and Anxiety
Both the Bible and a song by the 1960’s rock band the Byrds say that for everything there is a season. If you are reading this, there is a good chance you have had a season of darkness earlier in your life or you may be going through it right now. I can actually tell you the beginning and end dates of my season of uncertainty and anxiety. It was last year from April 19 to August 1. Let me explain.
On April 18, the last day of the tax season and therefore my last day of the year for me at H&R Block, my future plans seemed clear. After that hectic but fun day at the tax office, I would work for the rest of the week at my day job. Then I would take a week of vacation and go to Orlando, Florida where my wife’s family is. We would also take a side trip to Miami. After returning to Orlando from Miami, we would go home to Birmingham, and I would look for a job in the state we had just visited. I also had plans to go with my wife to a writers’ conference hosted by her favorite author in June in Tennessee and the World Games were coming to Birmingham in July.
Then something happened to make these plans much less clear. On April 19, I received the news in an online meeting at my day job that the job I was at would soon end because the Federal Government was not renewing its contract with my employer. The transition would take around two months but once it was over, I and the roughly 100 other employees who worked with me would be no longer be employees there. My job search focus suddenly went from finding a job in Florida to finding a job period. I would look in both Birmingham in Orlando and would actually consider other locations if a long time passed without me finding a job.
Were all my plans blown out of the water? I could have told my wife that we had to cut cost, and that therefore our trip to Florida as well as our trip to the author event were cancelled. She would have understood, and it would have made sense. Nonetheless, we went to these events as planned (they were already paid for). When I was in Miami, I did my best to put the job loss out of my mind because worrying about it would have served no purpose. My decision to go to the writers’ conference can only described as a jump of faith. The writers’ conference was not cheap but a famous author helping me share a story with the world is priceless. If I had said “We will go to the writing intensive next year”, I would not have had the opportunity to do this at all. The writers’ conference was not held the following year (this year).
The World Games was a once-in-a-lifetime event. I will never forget the sense of world unity there was at the opening ceremonies. That was on top of the rarely seen sports such as karate that I was able to see in person.
These events came at a time when I desperately needed something to be excited about.
Each morning during this period in my life, I woke up with a sense of angst and dread. I had to keep telling myself that I could compete for a job. My wife bought me a small plant vase with “stay positive” written on it
Late in May, ran out of work to do and I could not stand to stay at the office and do nothing. I took my equipment home, something that had always been an option since the pandemic. I clocked in and out from home but there was very little work. In June there was none. My last official day was July 1. I was already searching feverishly for a job. On August 1, this nose-to-the-grind approach to searching for a job paid off. I got the phone call offering me an adequately paying job which met most of my preferences. Although I could not start until August 16, I was much more at peace knowing where my next job was coming from. I am still in that job today and I am extremely grateful to God.
What seems to be true during all seasons, including seasons of unemployment, is that there are some opportunities that I must grab, because those opportunities may never come again.